While in the desert,
I stumbled into a mine shaft.
Even in its depleted state,
I found hidden riches…
Once I survived the fall.
In this place of Death and
Wait,
Sight is not given but
Created.
While in the desert,
I stumbled into a mine shaft.
In this gaping tomb,
I found a chance to go forward and a
Way back home.
-For One Shot Wednesday http://onestoppoetry.com/
Two news pieces inspired this poem. One was the story of a miner who fell into a Nevada mine and died there after many failed attempts to save him. The other was a report about how scientists study mines for clues about the earth’s beginnings and life on other planets.
Sharing the stories of your inspiration really adds depth to an already good poem. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteTeresa
The "Wait" turning point is very effective after mentioning it as a place of death. I'm surprised you were able to pull the poem out of such a depth of despair by finding optimism at the end. Well done.
ReplyDeleteintriguing take what richness might be found in an accident as opposed to the death the man found..or maybe in that he found his riches...i like this...
ReplyDeleteDespair and then lifted spirit...love it.
ReplyDeleteThis piece could easily describe the sensations of one who experienced a near-death experience and lived to tell about it.
ReplyDeleteHer is my One Shot:
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/04/27/mourning-melody/
lovely
ReplyDeleteI see hope in the end...Like that!!
ReplyDeleteHere is my one shot:
diamonte
dark. and yet not. I'm both pleased and amazed how well you've managed to create hope from finality :)
ReplyDeleteMonty
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Literally and metaphorically, this accident and its aftermath moved me. However, I wanted to make sure that I was respectful to the memory of the victim.
ReplyDeleteDeath and Life in the poem as hope and despair
ReplyDelete